Meet the Stars: Frollo

Frollo Shamus O’Murphy(1) was born a nomad, his mother and father having eloped in order to give vent to their burning love. From being an egg Frollo never knew one place for long, cast adrift on his father’s endless quest for the pot’o’blood at the end of the rainbow. This endless (hopeless) quest saw the small O’Murphy clan travelling the grid in a grand pea-green boat(2), but when the stolen money and honey ran out they family found themselves in dire straights and had no other option but to apprentice out the young Frollo to a catfish in the Omidyar sea.

Frollo never saw his parents again. Legend says they were killed in a terrible particle storm just off Da Boom, other reports say they were roasted by the firece underwater Sea Osprey in Bodega, whilst still others just say they found the pot’o’blood and forgot about poor Frollo altogether. Whatever the truth, which will be mostly lies and make believe, one thing is for certain, young Frollo was raised on the back of the kindly catfish and became the grids first (and only) Sea-Flea!

Although he traveled the Seven Seas of the grid, he never forgot the inland sea of Omidyar and often returned to play amongst the kelp, gambol amid the sponges and bite the arse of anything with warn blood in it. It was the latter activity that led him dto develop his superflea-like dextrity as his favourite pasttime rapidly became shark taunting and Sea Osprey biting.

It was during an attempt to beat his personal best and not only taunt the Bodega Bay shark but also twist the sea-snakes into a balloon poodle and bite the dreaded Sea Osprey right on the arse in one daring lightning raid, that Frollo came across the good Professor Antfarmoffski trembling under a large lily leaf. and the rest, dear reader is history…

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(1) His Father was Irish who lived in Athlone on a shark in the local aquarium. His mother was a minor French aristocrat passing through on the back of a particularly fine Persian. It’s the beautiful age old love story of the haughty and the lowly crossing the social divide to rut like two monkeys sugared up on love juice and UmBongo. Awwww.

(2) Filched from a sap of an owl and his soppy cat lover when they weren’t looking.